您遇到的源代码中最好的评论是什么？

您遇到的源代码中最好的评论是什么？

我对此特别内疚,在我的大部分项目中嵌入了非建设性的评论,代码诗和小笑话(虽然我通常有足够的意识在发布代码之前删除任何直接令人反感的内容).这是我特别喜欢的一个,远远落在一个设计不佳的"上帝对象"上:

/**
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
*/

对不起!!!!我忍不住自己......!

而另一位,这我承认我还没有真正释放到野外,即使我很动心,我不太直观的一个类可以这样做:

// 
// Dear maintainer:
// 
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// 
// total_hours_wasted_here = 42
// 

Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up;  //ha ha

//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows

stop(); // Hammertime!

这似乎阻止了笨蛋弄乱我的代码......

// Autogenerated, do not edit. All changes will be undone.

// sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments

// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will 
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets 
// released into the public.

//Code sanitized to protect the foolish.
using System;
using System.Collections.Generic;
using System.Text;
using System.Reflection;
using System.Web.UI;

namespace Mobile.Web.Control
{
    /// 

    /// Class used to work around Richard being a fucking idiot
    /// 
    /// 
    /// The point of this is to work around his poor design so that paging will 
    /// work on a mobile control. The main problem is the BindCompany() method, 
    /// which he hoped would be able to do everything. I hope he dies.
    /// 
    public abstract class RichardIsAFuckingIdiotControl : MobileBaseControl, ICompanyProfileControl
    {
        protected abstract Pager Pager { get; }

        public void BindCompany(int companyId) { }

        public RichardIsAFuckingIdiotControl()
        {
            MakeSureNobodyAccidentallyGetsBittenByRichardsStupidity();
        }

        private void MakeSureNobodyAccidentallyGetsBittenByRichardsStupidity()
        {
            // Make sure nobody is actually using that fucking bindcompany method
            MethodInfo m = this.GetType().GetMethod("BindCompany", BindingFlags.DeclaredOnly | 
                BindingFlags.Instance | BindingFlags.Public | BindingFlags.NonPublic);
            if (m != null)
            {
                throw new RichardIsAFuckingIdiotException("No!! Don't use the fucking BindCompany method!!!");
            }
            // P.S. this method is a joke ... the rest of the class is fucking serious
        }

        /// 

        /// This returns true if this control is supposed to be doing anything
        /// at all for this request. Richard thought it was a good idea to load
        /// the entire website during every request and have things turn themselves
        /// off. He also thought bandanas and aviator sunglasses were "fuckin' 
        /// gnarly, dude."
        /// 
        protected bool IsThisTheRightPageImNotSureBecauseRichardIsDumb()
        {
            return Request.QueryString["Section"] == this.MenuItemKey;
        }

        protected override void OnLoad(EventArgs e)
        {
            if (IsThisTheRightPageImNotSureBecauseRichardIsDumb())
            {
                Page.LoadComplete += new EventHandler(Page_LoadComplete);
                Pager.RowCount = GetRowCountBecauseRichardIsDumb();
            }
            base.OnLoad(e);
        }

        protected abstract int GetRowCountBecauseRichardIsDumb();
        protected abstract void BindDataBecauseRichardIsDumb();

        void Page_LoadComplete(object sender, EventArgs e)
        {
            BindDataBecauseRichardIsDumb();
        }

        // the rest of his reduh-ndant interface members
        public abstract string MenuItemName { get; set; }
        public abstract string MenuItemKey { get; set; }
        public abstract bool IsCapable(CapabilityCheck checker, int companyId);
        public abstract bool ShowInMenu { get; }
        public virtual Control CreateHeaderControl()
        {
            return null;
        }
    }
}

更新: 该代码的原始作者已经将自己打败了,所以我必须在到期时给予信任.Dan McKinley在我开始后不久就离开了我所在的公司,他更多地谈论了代码,解释了一些背景以及一些"理查德"所写的"WTF".

// somedev1 -  6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Login screen
// somedev2 -  5/22/07 Temporary my ass

// drunk, fix later

希望我在开玩笑.并且知道编写代码的开发人员,我认为他的字面意思.

// Magic. Do not touch.

#define TRUE FALSE //Happy debugging suckers

// I'm sorry.

return 1; # returns 1

/* This is O(scary), but seems quick enough in practice. */ 

接下来是四个嵌套的for循环

// Replaces with spaces the braces in cases where braces in places cause stasis 
   $str = str_replace(array("\{","\}")," ",$str);

它说明了我们的专业,当被问及"最佳评论"时,我们都会回答我们能找到的最糟糕的评论......

long john; // silver

Catch (Exception e) {
 //who cares?
} 

/**
 * Always returns true.
 */
public boolean isAvailable() {
    return false;
}

永远不要依赖评论......

/*
 * You may think you know what the following code does.
 * But you dont. Trust me.
 * Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless
 * night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever
 * enough to "optimize" the code below.
 * Now close this file and go play with something else.
 */ 

try {

} finally { // should never happen 

}

来自:https://github.com/zepouet/Xee-xCode-4.5/blob/master/XeePhotoshopLoader.m#L108

// At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD
// format. PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it
// such would be an insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD
// is an abysmal format. Having worked on this code for several weeks now, my
// hate for PSD has grown to a raging fire that burns with the fierce passion
// of a million suns.
//
// If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in
// different places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would
// think of, and do those too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for
// instance, did it suddenly decide that *these* particular chunks should be
// aligned to four bytes, and that this alignement should *not* be included in
// the size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned, or aligned with
// the alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included. Either
// one of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one.
// PSD, of course, uses all three, and more.
//
// Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the
// attic of your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark
// attack on his 58th birthday. That last detail may not be important for the
// purposes of the simile, but at this point I am spending a lot of time
// imagining amusing fates for the people responsible for this Rube Goldberg of
// a file format.
//
// Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format.
// To do this, I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have
// them consider sending me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing
// them a copy of some document or other, probably signed in blood. I can only
// imagine that they make this process so difficult because they are intensely
// ashamed of having created this abomination. I was naturally not gullible
// enough to go through with this procedure, but if I had done so, I would have
// printed out every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire. Were it
// within my power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch
// them on a spaceship directly into the sun.
//
// PSD is not my favourite file format.

const int TEN=10; // As if the value of 10 will fluctuate... 

    #Christmas tree initializer  
    toConnect = []  
    toRead =   [  ]  
    toWrite = [    ]   
    primes = [      ]  
    responses = {}  
    remaining = {}  

大约30页xslt的中间

long long ago; /* in a galaxy far far away */ 

在完全没有注释的2000行方法中

{ 
  { 
    while (.. ){ 
      if (..){
          }
      for (.. ){ 
          }
         .... (just putting in the control flow here, imagine another few hundred ifs)
      if(..)   {
            if(..)     {
                   if(..)   {
                ...
                (another few hundred brackets)
                       }
                  }
         } //endif

(我实际上有一天只是为了看看它有多糟糕而把所有括号都弄出来了,并且,没有格式化,得到了这个:

{{{{}}{}{}{}{}}{{}{{}{}{}{}{}{}{{}{}}{}{}{{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{{}}}{{}{{}}{{{}}}{{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{{}}{}{{{}}{}{{}{}}{{{}}{}{}{}{}}{{}}}{}{{}{}{}{{}{{}}{}}{{}}}{{}}{{}}{{}}{}{{}}{{}}{{}}{{}{}{}}{}{}{{{}}{{}}}{}{}{}{}}{{{}{{}{}{}{{}{}{}{}{}{}}{}}{{}}{{}{}}}{{}}{{}}}{{}}{{}}{}{}{}{}{{}}{{}{}{}{}}}}{}{}}{{}{{{}{}{}{}}}}{{}{{{}}}}{{}{{{}{{}}{}{{}}{}{{}{}}{{}}{}{{}}}{{}}}}{{}{}{}{}{}{{{}    {{{{}}{}{}{}{}}{{}{{}{}{}{}{}{}{{}{}}{}{}{{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{{}}}{{}{{}}{{{}}}{{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{{}}{}{{{}}{}{{}{}}{{{}}{}{}{}{}}{{}}}{}{{}{}{}{{}{{}}{}}{{}}}{{}}{{}}{{}}{}{{}}{{}}{{}}{{}{}{}}{}{}{{{}}{{}}}{}{}{}{}}{{{}{{}{}{}{{}{}{}{}{}{}}{}}{{}}{{}{}}}{{}}{{}}}{{}}{{}}{}{}{}{}{{}}{{}{}{}{}}}}{}{}}{{}{{{}{}{}{}}}}{{}{{{}}}}{{}{{{}{{}}{}{{}}{}{{}{}}{{}}{}{{}}}{{}}}}{{}{}{}{}{}{{{}{}{{}}{}}}{}}{{}}{{}{}}{{}{{}{{}}}}{{{}{{{}}}}}{{{{{}}}}}{}{}{}{{{{}}}{}{}}{{}{{}}}}{}{{}}{}}}{}}{{}}{{}{}}{{}{{}{{}}}}{{{}{{{}}}}}{{{{{}}}}}{}{}{}{{{{}}}{}{}}{{}{{}}}}

endif出现在800号线附近)

//This code sucks, you know it and I know it.  
//Move on and call me an idiot later.

// If this comment is removed the program will blow up 

double penetration; // ouch

/////////////////////////////////////// this is a well commented line

// I don't know why I need this, but it stops the people being upside-down

x = -x;

其中最经典的一个是Pierre de Fermat关于他众所周知的"最后定理"的评论:"这个页面的边缘有点太小而无法记下证明".

在证据被发现之前花了350多年......

(根据维基百科这是原文:)

Cubos autem in duos cubos,aut quadratoquadratum in duos quadratoquadratos,et generaliter nullam in infinitum ultra quadratum potestatem in duos eiusdem nominis fas est dividere cuius rei demonsti mirabilem sane detexi.Hanc marginis exiguitas非caperet.

...并翻译成英文:

(不可能将立方体分成两个立方体,或者将第四个功率分成两个四分之一的功率,或者一般来说,任何高于第二功率的功率都分成两个相似的功率.我发现了一个真正奇妙的证明,这个边缘是太狭隘了.)

// I am not sure if we need this, but too scared to delete. 

从Java 1.2 SwingUtilities:

doRun.run();  // ... "a doo run run".

# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file 

在文件的底部:

# To understand recursion, see the top of this file

在我们的团队中,这个是生产代码中的微观管理效果的生动证明:

// I am not responsible of this code.
// They made me write it, against my will.

......接下来是不太理想的代码,由我们敬爱的技术总监构思,他非常喜欢将代码和编码指南强制转化为开发人员的喉咙(*).

当然,当项目负责人搜索错误的原因,并发现它在"不太理想的代码"里面时,他不是很有趣......

(*)我是,当然,提全能王VB ...如果你想评估的权力全部规模强大VB王,你可以阅读下面的SO职位:什么是奇怪的编码标准规则你被迫跟随？...

我经历了一个睡眠不足的编码运行,并开始只写出来自Fight Club引用的评论.

几年后我仍在搜索代码,我发现一条让我发笑的评论.他们中的大多数只是随意的想法 然而,我确实保持我的评论线条比例相当不错!

// This shouldn't happen. The only way this can happen is if the
// JFileChooser has returned a File that doesn't exist
// on the system. If this happens we can't recover, and there is more than likely
// a rip in the space time continuum that the user is too distracted by to notice
// anything else.

 /**
   * This method leverages collective synergy to drive "outside of the box"
   * thinking and formulate key objectives into a win-win game plan with a
   * quality-driven approach that focuses on empowering key players to drive-up
   * their core competencies and increase expectations with an all-around
   * initiative to drive down the bottom-line. I really wanted to work the word
   * "mandrolic" in there, but that word always makes me want to punch myself in
   * the face.
   */
private void updateFileCountLabel() {

很多年前(大约1994年),我正在为一家大型跨国软件公司开发Oracle PRO*C应用程序,你会听说过.我正在开发的应用程序是一个庞大的Oracle应用程序,他们有一个实用程序,可以在一夜之间整理数据并进行各种聚合计算.每当需要做任何批处理工作时,它都被推到了这个工具中,你可以想象它变成了一个绝对的怪物.同样值得注意的是,它对这样一个庞大的计划所做的评论很少.

它所做的为数不多的评论之一仍然是我见过的纯粹WTF的最好的评论......我试图找到一个长达数百行的函数中的错误,正好在它的中间是唯一的评论功能:

/* I did this the other way */

直到今天,它仍然是我见过的最好的评论.

/* Please work */

//Dear future me. Please forgive me. 
//I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.  

我今天刚刚发现了这个:

//private instance variable for storing age
public static int age;

/* You are not meant to understand this */ 

//I am not sure why this works but it fixes the problem. 

这是在一组代码之前,在技术上确实解决了它本来应该解决的问题,但打破了其他3件事....

// no comments for you
// it was hard to write
// so it should be hard to read

/* Halley's comment */

options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

// I have to find a better job

我们的DBA在第三方编写的3000行存储过程中发现了这一点.

/* IF DOLPHINS ARE SO SMART, HOW COME THEY LIVE IN IGLOOS? */

在js代码:

// hack for ie browser (assuming that ie is a browser)

/* Emits a 7-Hz tone for 10 seconds.
  True story: 7 Hz is the resonant frequency of a
  chicken's skull cavity. This was determined
  empirically in Australia, where a new factory
  generating 7-Hz tones was located too close to a
  chicken ranch: When the factory started up, all the
  chickens died.
  Your PC may not be able to emit a 7-Hz tone. */

main()
{
    sound(7);
    delay(10000);
    nosound();
}

(Turbo C 2.0版参考指南中的声音功能)

......还是死//婊子

尝试在谷歌代码搜索中输入您最喜欢的亵渎语言,它可以消除许多沉闷的时间.我最喜欢的一些例子:

/* These magic numbers are fucking stupid. */

/* Dear free software world, do you NOW see we are fucking
   things up?! This is insane! */

/* We will NOT put a fucking timestamp in the header here. Every
   time you put it back, I will come in and take it out again. */

# However, this only works if there are MULTIPLE checkboxes!
# The fucking JS DOM *changes* based on one or multiple boxes!?!?!
# Damn damn damn I hate the JavaScript DOM so damn much!!!!!!

/* TODO: this is obviously not right ... this whole fucking module
   sucks anyway */

/* FIXME: please god, when will the hurting stop? Thus function is so
   fucking broken it's not even funny. */

和我个人的最爱

 # code below replaces code above - any problems?
 # yeah, it doesn't fucking work.

在初始化链表时:

last = first; /* Biblical reference */

扼杀和搞笑.

有人抱怨"最好的"评论提出了最糟糕的评论.恕我直言,他们是有趣,因此"更好",但这里是我所见过的最诚实的境界评论阅读:

/*
Major subtleties ahead:  Most hash schemes depend on having a "good" hash
function, in the sense of simulating randomness.  Python doesn't:  its most
important hash functions (for strings and ints) are very regular in common
cases:

>>> map(hash, (0, 1, 2, 3))
[0, 1, 2, 3]
>>> map(hash, ("namea", "nameb", "namec", "named"))
[-1658398457, -1658398460, -1658398459, -1658398462]
>>>

This isn't necessarily bad!  To the contrary, in a table of size 2**i, taking
the low-order i bits as the initial table index is extremely fast, and there
are no collisions at all for dicts indexed by a contiguous range of ints.
The same is approximately true when keys are "consecutive" strings.  So this
gives better-than-random behavior in common cases, and that's very desirable.

OTOH, when collisions occur, the tendency to fill contiguous slices of the
hash table makes a good collision resolution strategy crucial.  Taking only
the last i bits of the hash code is also vulnerable:  for example, consider
[i << 16 for i in range(20000)] as a set of keys.  Since ints are their own
hash codes, and this fits in a dict of size 2**15, the last 15 bits of every
hash code are all 0:  they *all* map to the same table index.

But catering to unusual cases should not slow the usual ones, so we just take
the last i bits anyway.  It's up to collision resolution to do the rest.  If
we *usually* find the key we're looking for on the first try (and, it turns
out, we usually do -- the table load factor is kept under 2/3, so the odds
are solidly in our favor), then it makes best sense to keep the initial index
computation dirt cheap.

The first half of collision resolution is to visit table indices via this
recurrence:

    j = ((5*j) + 1) mod 2**i

For any initial j in range(2**i), repeating that 2**i times generates each
int in range(2**i) exactly once (see any text on random-number generation for
proof).  By itself, this doesn't help much:  like linear probing (setting
j += 1, or j -= 1, on each loop trip), it scans the table entries in a fixed
order.  This would be bad, except that's not the only thing we do, and it's
actually *good* in the common cases where hash keys are consecutive.  In an
example that's really too small to make this entirely clear, for a table of
size 2**3 the order of indices is:

    0 -> 1 -> 6 -> 7 -> 4 -> 5 -> 2 -> 3 -> 0 [and here it's repeating]

If two things come in at index 5, the first place we look after is index 2,
not 6, so if another comes in at index 6 the collision at 5 didn't hurt it.
Linear probing is deadly in this case because there the fixed probe order
is the *same* as the order consecutive keys are likely to arrive.  But it's
extremely unlikely hash codes will follow a 5*j+1 recurrence by accident,
and certain that consecutive hash codes do not.

The other half of the strategy is to get the other bits of the hash code
into play.  This is done by initializing a (unsigned) vrbl "perturb" to the
full hash code, and changing the recurrence to:

    j = (5*j) + 1 + perturb;
    perturb >>= PERTURB_SHIFT;
    use j % 2**i as the next table index;

Now the probe sequence depends (eventually) on every bit in the hash code,
and the pseudo-scrambling property of recurring on 5*j+1 is more valuable,
because it quickly magnifies small differences in the bits that didn't affect
the initial index.  Note that because perturb is unsigned, if the recurrence
is executed often enough perturb eventually becomes and remains 0.  At that
point (very rarely reached) the recurrence is on (just) 5*j+1 again, and
that's certain to find an empty slot eventually (since it generates every int
in range(2**i), and we make sure there's always at least one empty slot).

Selecting a good value for PERTURB_SHIFT is a balancing act.  You want it
small so that the high bits of the hash code continue to affect the probe
sequence across iterations; but you want it large so that in really bad cases
the high-order hash bits have an effect on early iterations.  5 was "the
best" in minimizing total collisions across experiments Tim Peters ran (on
both normal and pathological cases), but 4 and 6 weren't significantly worse.

Historical:  Reimer Behrends contributed the idea of using a polynomial-based
approach, using repeated multiplication by x in GF(2**n) where an irreducible
polynomial for each table size was chosen such that x was a primitive root.
Christian Tismer later extended that to use division by x instead, as an
efficient way to get the high bits of the hash code into play.  This scheme
also gave excellent collision statistics, but was more expensive:  two
if-tests were required inside the loop; computing "the next" index took about
the same number of operations but without as much potential parallelism
(e.g., computing 5*j can go on at the same time as computing 1+perturb in the
above, and then shifting perturb can be done while the table index is being
masked); and the dictobject struct required a member to hold the table's
polynomial.  In Tim's experiments the current scheme ran faster, produced
equally good collision statistics, needed less code & used less memory.

Theoretical Python 2.5 headache:  hash codes are only C "long", but
sizeof(Py_ssize_t) > sizeof(long) may be possible.  In that case, and if a
dict is genuinely huge, then only the slots directly reachable via indexing
by a C long can be the first slot in a probe sequence.  The probe sequence
will still eventually reach every slot in the table, but the collision rate
on initial probes may be much higher than this scheme was designed for.
Getting a hash code as fat as Py_ssize_t is the only real cure.  But in
practice, this probably won't make a lick of difference for many years (at
which point everyone will have terabytes of RAM on 64-bit boxes).
*/

if(m_measures =/*=*/ --index)
{
    ....

int MyFunction()
{
    // There once was a man named Dave
    int Result = 0;

    // Whose code just wouldn't behave
    MyObject *Ptr = new MyObject();

    // He left to go to a meetin'
    Result = Ptr->DoSomething();

    // And left his memory a leakin'
    return Result;
}

C++评论

/*
This isn't the right way to deal with this, but today is my last day, Ron
just spilled coffee on my desk, and I'm hungry, so this will have to do...
*/

return 12; // 12 is my lucky number

  mov si, pCard      ; captain?

// I know the line below is wrong, but it came that way from our IP vendor, and 
// the driver won't work if you "fix" it. I've had to revert this change 4 times
// now. Leave it alone, or I will hunt you down and hurt you
if (r = 0) {
    /* bunch of code here */
}
else
{
   /* even more code here */
}

从2004年的Windows泄漏,

__inline BOOL
SearchOneDirectory(
                  IN  LPSTR Directory,
                  IN  LPSTR FileToFind,
                  IN  LPSTR SourceFullName,
                  IN  LPSTR SourceFilePart,
                  OUT PBOOL FoundInTree
                  )
{
    //
    // This was way too slow. Just say we didn't find the file.
    //
    *FoundInTree = FALSE;
    return(TRUE);
}

// this comment included for the benefit of anyone grepping for swearwords: shit.

我在某人的代码上看到了这条评论:

// This comment is self explanatory.

我想他的意思是说'变量',但是这个错误引起了一个有趣的评论......想想这里的循环逻辑,以及编写它的徒劳无益.

} catch (PartInitException pie) {
    // Mmm... pie

不是评论,而是goto标签

ICantBelieveImUsingAGoto:

class Act //That's me!!!
{

}

try {

}
catch (SQLException ex) {
    // Basically, without saying too much, you're screwed. Royally and totally.
}
catch(Exception ex)
{
    //If you thought you were screwed before, boy have I news for you!!!
}

在必须声明的局部变量旁边,以便将常量传递给库函数:

// This only exists because Scott doesn't know how to use const correctly

virgin = 0;     /* you're not a virgin anymore, sweety */

public boolean isDirty() {
    //Why do you always go out and
    return dirty;
}

 * ...and don't just declare it volatile and think you've solved
 * the problem. You young punks think you know what volatile
 * means... why in my day we had to cast it volatile uphill
 * both ways, and the code still didn't work! Whippersnappers...

最初的末日有一个发动机,静止的墙壁无法移动; 结果是所有门都垂直打开; 什么都不能横向移动.在源代码发布之后,我突然笑了起来,我正在查看代码并在源文件中看到这个处理门,在一大块注释掉的代码的开头:

// UNUSED
// Separate into p_slidoor.c?

#if 0           // ABANDONED TO THE MISTS OF TIME!!!
//
// EV_SlidingDoor : slide a door horizontally
// (animate midtexture, then set noblocking line)
//

从Quake III源代码中,我在一些随机的slashdot帖子中偶然发现了这一点.可在此处找到该文件的完整源代码.这是计算平方根的一种特别快速的方法.至于最好的评论？这是一个常见的确定,但鉴于它附加到线上,魔术是什么使它伟大.

float Q_rsqrt( float number )
{
  long i;
  float x2, y;
  const float threehalfs = 1.5F;

  x2 = number * 0.5F;
  y  = number;
  i  = * ( long * ) &y;  // evil floating point bit level hacking
  i  = 0x5f3759df - ( i >> 1 ); // what the fuck?
  y  = * ( float * ) &i;
  y  = y * ( threehalfs - ( x2 * y * y ) ); // 1st iteration
  // y  = y * ( threehalfs - ( x2 * y * y ) ); // 2nd iteration, this can be removed

  #ifndef Q3_VM
  #ifdef __linux__
    assert( !isnan(y) ); // bk010122 - FPE?
  #endif
  #endif
  return y;
}

def format_ticket_content(text, recursive = true)
  if text.is_a?(TicketNote)
    note = text
    text = note.content
  else
    note = nil
  end

  ## Safety pig has arrived!
  text = h(text)
  ##                               _
  ##  _._ _..._ .-',     _.._(`))
  ## '-. `     '  /-._.-'    ',/
  ##    )         \            '.
  ##   / _    _    |             \
  ##  |  a    a    /              |
  ##  \   .-.                     ;  
  ##   '-('' ).-'       ,'       ;
  ##      '-;           |      .'
  ##         \           \    /
  ##         | 7  .__  _.-\   \
  ##         | |  |  ``/  /`  /
  ##        /,_|  |   /,_/   /
  ##           /,_/      '`-'
  ## 

// John! If you'll svn remove this once more,
// I'll shut you, for God's sake!
// That piece of code is not “something strange”!
// That is THE AUTH VALIDATION.

你觉得怎么样？下面的代码被安全'删除'.

这已经在我自己的代码中出现了几次.显然我不止一次触及它:

// TODO: Fix this.  Fix what?

//MailBody builders for two outgoing messages
StringBuilder hanz = new StringBuilder();
StringBuilder franz = new StringBuilder();

当我读到那个时,我还是笑了一下......

Repeat
    ...
Until (JesusChristsReturn) ' Not sure

在离开我的上一份工作时,我将一些ascii艺术嵌入到源头......

                                      ,_-=(!7(7/zs_.             
                                   .='  ' .`/,/!(=)Zm.           
                     .._,,._..  ,-`- `,\ ` -` -`\\7//WW.         
                ,v=~/.-,-\- -!|V-s.)iT-|s|\-.'   `///mK%.        
              v!`i!-.e]-g`bT/i(/[=.Z/m)K(YNYi..   /-]i44M.       
            v`/,`|v]-DvLcfZ/eV/iDLN\D/ZK@%8W[Z..   `/d!Z8m       
           //,c\(2(X/NYNY8]ZZ/bZd\()/\7WY%WKKW)   -'|(][%4.      
         ,\\i\c(e)WX@WKKZKDKWMZ8(b5/ZK8]Z7%ffVM,   -.Y!bNMi      
         /-iit5N)KWG%%8%%%%W8%ZWM(8YZvD)XN(@.  [   \]!/GXW[      
        / ))G8\NMN%W%%%%%%%%%%8KK@WZKYK*ZG5KMi,-   vi[NZGM[      
       i\!(44Y8K%8%%%**~YZYZ@%%%%%4KWZ/PKN)ZDZ7   c=//WZK%!      
      ,\v\YtMZW8W%%f`,`.t/bNZZK%%W%%ZXb*K(K5DZ   -c\\/KM48       
      -|c5PbM4DDW%f  v./c\[tMY8W%PMW%D@KW)Gbf   -/(=ZZKM8[       
      2(N8YXWK85@K   -'c|K4/KKK%@  V%@@WD8e~  .//ct)8ZK%8`       
      =)b%]Nd)@KM[  !'\cG!iWYK%%|   !M@KZf    -c\))ZDKW%`        
      YYKWZGNM4/Pb  '-VscP4]b@W%     'Mf`   -L\///KM(%W!         
      !KKW4ZK/W7)Z. '/cttbY)DKW%     -`  .',\v)K(5KW%%f          
      'W)KWKZZg)Z2/,!/L(-DYYb54%  ,,`, -\-/v(((KK5WW%f           
       \M4NDDKZZ(e!/\7vNTtZd)8\Mi!\-,-/i-v((tKNGN%W%%            
       'M8M88(Zd))///((|D\tDY\\KK-`/-i(=)KtNNN@W%%%@%[           
        !8%@KW5KKN4///s(\Pd!ROBY8/=2(/4ZdzKD%K%%%M8@%%           
         '%%%W%dGNtPK(c\/2\[Z(ttNYZ2NZW8W8K%%%%YKM%M%%.          
           *%%W%GW5@/%!e]_tZdY()v)ZXMZW%W%%%*5Y]K%ZK%8[          
            '*%%%%8%8WK\)[/ZmZ/Zi]!/M%%%%@f\ \Y/NNMK%%!          
              'VM%%%%W%WN5Z/Gt5/b)((cV@f`  - |cZbMKW%%|          
                 'V*M%%%WZ/ZG\t5((+)L\'-,,/  -)X(NWW%%           
                      `~`MZ/DZGNZG5(((\,    ,t\\Z)KW%@           
                         'M8K%8GN8\5(5///]i!v\K)85W%%f           
                           YWWKKKKWZ8G54X/GGMeK@WM8%@            
                            !M8%8%48WG@KWYbW%WWW%%%@             
                              VM%WKWK%8K%%8WWWW%%%@`             
                                ~*%%%%%%W%%%%%%%@~               
                                   ~*MM%%%%%%@f`                 
                                       '''''                     

/*
after hours of consulting the tome of google
i have discovered that by the will of unknown forces
without the below line, IE7 believes that 6px = 12px
*/
font-size: 0px;

不记得我在哪里见过这些:

long time; /* know C */

和(在代码中创建某种UNIX守护进程):

/* Be a real daemon: fork myself and kill my parent */

在头文件的顶部:

/* Project : XYZ (Please somebody shoot me!)
 *
 * File : $Id: defs.h,v 1.1 $
 *
 * Purpose : Create havoc rather than peace among many nations
 *
 * History : Back-ported changes that were not in CVS.  Please somebody,
 *  shoot us and put us all out of our misery.
 */

"XYZ项目"(名称已更改)是一项为期七年的考验.最后一条评论是由从一开始到最后参与的一个坚强的灵魂写的.

// Catching exceptions is for communists

来自Mike Duncan关于SQLite的页面.

在drivers/net/sunhme.c(Linux内核)中:

/* Welcome to Sun Microsystems, can I take your order please? */
if(!hp->happy_flags & HFLAG_FENABLE)
        return happy_meal_bb_write(hp, tregs, reg, value);

/* Would you like fries with that? */
hme_write32(hp, &tregs->frame,
            (FRAME_WRITE | (hp->paddr << 23) |
             ((reg & 0xff) << 18) | (value & 0xffff)));
while(!(hme_read32(hp, &tregs->frame) & 0x10000) && --tries)
        udelay(20);

/* Anything else? */
if(!tries)
        printk(KERN_ERR "happy meal: Aieee, transceiver MIF write bolixed\n");

/* Fifty-two cents is your change, have a nice day. */

//
//3.4  JeK  My manager promised me a lap dance if I can fix this release
//3.5  JeK  Still waiting for that dance from my manager
//3.6  JeK  My manager got changed, the new manager is hairy, dont want the dance anymore
//3.7  Jek  Got that dance, yuck!
//

    /* Mark: If there's one thing you learn from this code, it is this...
   Never, ever fly Air France.  Their customer service is absolutely
   the worst.  I've never heard the words "That's not my problem" as 
   many times as I have from their staff -- It should, without doubt
   be their corporate motto if it isn't already.  Don't bother giving 
   them business because you're just a pain in their side and they
   will be sure to let you know the first time you speak to them.

   If you ever want to make me happy just tell me that you, too, will
   never fly Air France again either (in spite of their excellent
   cuisine). 

   Update by oej: The merger with KLM has transferred this
   behaviour to KLM as well. 
   Don't bother giving them business either...

   Only if you want to travel randomly without luggage, you
   might pick either of them.
   */

我添加到PHP CMS的评论我一段时间以来一直在努力.

if (/*you*/ $_GET['action']) { //celebrate

有一次我在另一个讨论中看到这样的事情:

// I can't divide with zero, so I have to divide with something very similar
result = number / 0.00000000000001;

聪明的解决方案,不是吗:)？(如果有人不确定的话,这是一个笑话)

一个经典案例,说明为什么你不应该放弃软件开发:

public class Contact
{
    //...    

    /// 

    /// Gets or sets the name of the first.
    /// 
    /// The name of the first.
    public string FirstName
    {
        get { return _firstName; }
        set { _firstName = value; }
    }
}

在大学的家庭作业中为一位特别坚持我们对我们的代码发表评论的老师:

//I wonder if she actually reads these.

当作业被退回时,在评论旁边的红色笔"是的,我做"

来自泄露的Windows 2000源代码的伟大之一:

!!!!!!!如果你改变空间,你将被杀!!!!!!!!*
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!搞砸了建立过程!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2004/2/15/71552/7795

// If you're reading this, that means you have been put in charge of my previous project.
// I am so, so sorry for you. God speed.

// The ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.  Remember to change
// this to 3.0 if you move to a site in Indiana.

#define Pi                                      3.1415927

我一直很喜欢Paul DiLascia在他的文件标题中写的内容:

// If this code works, it was written by Paul DiLascia. If not, I don't know
// who wrote it

// human madable inconvenient. Way too sucks.

我仍然不完全明白这意味着什么,但我发现很多代码都是如此.

// error codes
#define ERROR_SUCESS 0
#define ERROR_SUCCESS_IS_MISSPELLED 1

没有定义其他错误代码.

从嵌入式系统中的电池监控模块:

// batmon.c drives the rastamobile

从泄露的Win2K源代码:

// The magnitude of this hack compares favorably with that of the national debt.

Donald Knuth的另一个经典之作:

注意上面代码中的错误; 我只是证明它是正确的,没有尝试过.

//There can Only Be one HIGHLAN....err..Singleton
public class SomeSingleton
{
...
}

// Any maintenance developer who can't quote entire Monty Python
// movies from memory has no business being a developer. 
const string LancelotsFavoriteColor = "$0204FB"

// if i ever see this again i'm going to start bringing guns to work

// I put on my robe and wizard hat...

// The following strings are meant to be funny.  Do not edit these strings
// unless you are funny, too.  If you don't know if you're funny, you're
// not funny.  If fewer than 2 people unrelated to you have told you that 
// you're funny, you're not funny.

在linux 1.0内核调度程序(sched.c)上:

Dijkstra可能讨厌我.

/*
 *  'schedule()' is the scheduler function. It's a very simple and nice
 * scheduler: it's not perfect, but certainly works for most things.
 * The one thing you might take a look at is the signal-handler code here.
 *
 *   NOTE!!  Task 0 is the 'idle' task, which gets called when no other
 * tasks can run. It can not be killed, and it cannot sleep. The 'state'
 * information in task[0] is never used.
 *
 * The "confuse_gcc" goto is used only to get better assembly code..
 * Dijkstra probably hates me.
 */
asmlinkage void schedule(void)

(......)

//uncomment the following line if the program manager changes her mind again this week

using namespace std;            // So sue me

//Abandon all hope ye who enter beyond this point

// This procedure is really good for your dorsolateral prefrontal cortex.

对于那些因为某些特殊原因而不知道DPC的人来说,当你深入学习新东西时,你的大脑就会变亮.

//I'm sorry, but our princess is in another castle.

//ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

......这让我的老板觉得有人入侵了.他不知道这个笑话.

sqlite源文件的顶部:

/*

** The author disclaims copyright to this source code.  In place of             
** a legal notice, here is a blessing:                                          
**                                                                              
**    May you do good and not evil.                                             
**    May you find forgiveness for yourself and forgive others.                 
**    May you share freely, never taking more than you give.

*/

/**
 * If you don't understand this code, you should be flipping burgers instead.
 */

大约10年前,我正在处理图像处理,扫描显微镜视频帧以检测细胞运动.我在一个特殊的复杂功能工作,并决定出去和朋友一起喝酒.当我回到家时,我工作了一点但不是太多,因为我喝醉了.早上我发现一个10行完全混乱的功能与以下评论(显然由我的另一个自己写):

/* Ah ah ah! You'll never understand why this one works. */

最奇怪的是,它甚至起作用了.

我在我发布的WordPress模板中发布了这个"许可声明".无论如何,我觉得这很有趣.

/* The License:
You (from this point on referred to as The You) are hereby 
granted by me (from this point on referred to as The Me) 
license to knock yourself silly with this template. 
By using this template The You implicitly accepts this 
license and pledges solemnly to never claim creative 
ownership of any graphics, code, concepts, eggs, bacon, ideas, 
colors, shapes, hypertext-transfer protocols or other conduits 
of the visual splendor thatis this template. 

The Me, in turn, pledges equally solemnly to be far too 
lazy to ever check up on you, so if you do manage to pull 
some chicks The Me won't have a cow. 
However The Me would be sorely disappointed if The You 
were to try and sell or distribute this work without 
acknowledging The Me. Seriously. The Me will come down on 
The You like a large quantitiy of hard and heavy objects 
that in large quantities may be harmful and possibly even 
lethal to The You; So don't even think about it, The Buster.
*/

简单但有效的评论,在一些C++代码中不太安全的黑客之前

// yikes

我不止一次使用过这个,当我对数学公式进行某种非显而易见的简化时,我不想记录:

//this formula is right, work out the math yourself if you don't believe me

//You are not expected to understand this

经典.

来自我们的一个项目.
某个源文件末尾的某个地方.

/*@                                    /\  /\
 * @                                  /  \/  \                        ----- |   | ----      |---\ |    | /--\  --- |   |  ---- /--\ /--\
 *  @                                /        --                        |   |   | |         |   / |    | |      |  |\  |  |    |    |
 *   \---\                          /           \                       |   |---| ----      |--/  |    |  \     |  | \ |  ----  \    \
 *    |   \------------------------/       /-\    \                     |   |   | |         |  \  |    |   -\   |  |  \|  |      -\   -\
 *    |                                    \-/     \                    |   |   | ----      |---/  \--/  \--/  --- |   \  ---- \--/ \--/
 *     \                                             ------O
 *      \                                                 /                 --- |   | ----  /--\        |--\   /--\   /--\
 *       |    |                    |    |                /                   |  |\  | |    |    |       |   | |    | |
 *       |    |                    |    |-----    -------                    |  | \ | ---- |    |       |   | |    | | /-\
 *       |    |\                  /|    |     \  WWWWWW/                     |  |  \| |    |    |       |   | |    | |    |
 *       |    | \                / |    |      \-------                     --- |   \ |     \--/        |--/   \--/   \--/
 *       |    |  \--------------/  |    |
 *      /     |                   /     |
 *      \      \                  \      \
 *       \-----/                   \-----/
 */

.class {border:1px solid gold;} /* I pitty the fool */

在GIGANTIC 800系列'switch'语句中,位于中间的某个位置:

// Joe is sorry

几百行后......

// Harry is sorry too

// Caveat implementor

这是我曾经不得不支持的实际代码.在努力理解AstaSaysGooGoo和AstaSaysGaaGaa(其中宣布和使用了更多astaTempVars)的逻辑之后,我已经准备好放弃了.我终于抬头看到了"@author"评论,整个事情开始变得有意义了.

/*

* @author Andrew Asta
*/
public class AstaClass{

    private String astaVar1;    
    private String astaVar2;    
    private String astaVar3;    
    private String astaVar4;    
    private String astaVar5;    
    private String astaVar6;    
    private String astaVar7;    
    private String astaVar8;    
    private String astaVar9;    
    private String astaVar10;   

    public void AstaSaysGetData(){
        //JDBC statement to populate astavars 1 through 10
        //...
        String astaSqlStatment = "Select astaCol1, astaCol2, astaCol3... From AstaTable Where...";
        //..
        //...
    }

    //Perform data manipulation on astavars...
    public void AstaSaysGaaGaa(){
          [removed for sake of brevity]
    }


    //Perform more data manipulation on astavars...
    public void AstaSaysGooGoO(){
        [removed for sake of brevity]
    }

    public void AstaSaysPersist(){      
        //JDBC statement to save astavars to DB 
        String astaSqlStatment = "Update AstaTable set astaCol1 = @astaVar1
                                                  , set astaCol2 = @astaVar2
                                                  , set astaCol3 = astaCol3... 
                                                  Where...";
    }
}

PS我改变了实际作者的真实姓名,以避免我遇到任何争议......

从Netscape Web浏览器的UNIX风格的源代码,大约1997年:

/* HP-UX sucks wet farts from dead pigeons' asses */

不幸的是,在Moz开源之前,这些珍珠被删除了......

//Mr. Compiler, please do not read this.

'NO COMMENT

long time; /* just seems that way */

aComment = 'this is not aComment' # this is aComment
class T(object):
    def f(this):
        this is not aComment

此注释位于包含接口的单元中,这些接口用于绑定主应用程序和各种第三方驱动程序之间的通信.

//**************************************
// Dear code maintainer:
//
// This source contains COM interfaces, not to be confused with interfaces 
// of any other sort, please do not just willy-nilly add additional methods 
// to these interfaces as they are truely immutable, unlike the interfaces 
// that other software vendors like Microsoft maintain.  IF you need to add 
// new functionality, then go thru the trouble of creating a NEW interface 
// and implement this functionality on only the objects you need.  
//
// While the money is good for fixing all of the problems caused by not 
// following the rules, I would rather work on things which actually have
// an impact on the future of the product rather than curse and yell 
// obsenities at the screen because someone didn't bother to understand the
// true meaning of IMMUTABLE.  
//**************************************

-- Comment this later

那是4000多行PL/SQL程序的第2行.唯一的评论.该程序开发4年后,后来仍未来......

有一些旧的JavaScript代码,写得很好.然后是评论行

// and there is where the dragon lives

其次是一个功能4人花了一天时间来了解它在做什么.最后,我们意识到它甚至没有使用,也没有做任何事情.

我曾经想出了一个我认为是一个特别棘手的问题的优雅解决方案,回想起来它有点令人费解并且大量使用宏程序.多年后,我从维护程序员那里得到了这个评论

/*
    Description: The Total Perspective Vortex derives its picture of the
                 whole Universe  on the principle of extrapolated matter
                 analyses.

                 To  explain  -  since every piece of matter in the Universe
                 is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in
                 the  Universe,  it  is  in  theory possible to extrapolate
                 the whole of creation - every sun, every planet, their
                 orbits, their composition and their economic and social
                 history from, say, one small Macro.

                 The man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so
                 basically in order to annoy the IT department.

                 Steve Weet - for that was his name - was a dreamer, a
                 thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as some would have
                 it, a slacker.

                 And they would nag him incessantly about the utterly
                 inordinate amount of time he spent staring out into space,
                 or mulling over the mechanics of Chelsea FC, or doing
                 spectrographic analyses of macros.

                 "Have  some  sense  of  proportion!"  they would say,
                 sometimes as often as thirty-eight times in a single day.

                 And so he built the Total Perspective Vortex - just to show
                 them.

                 And into one end he plugged the whole of reality as
                 extrapolated  from one  macro, and into the other
                 end he plugged the IT department: so that when he turned it
                 on they saw in one instant the whole infinity of creation 
                 and theirselves in relation to it.

                 To  Steve Weet's horror, the shock completely annihilated '
                 their brains; but to his satisfaction he realized that he
                 had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a
                 Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford
                 to have is a sense of proportion.

*/

catch (Ex as Exception)
{
     // oh crap, we should do something.
}

没有什么比空的捕获块让人觉得代码是健壮的....

为了保护内疚,价值观已经改变

这是一个承包商留下的,他一直在研究一大堆负责测试电子邮件登录的代码.我们难以置信,所以我们尝试了,这是他个人帐户的有效登录; 我们仔细检查了修订历史记录,并且他有两个签到它来编辑它:一个用于添加代码,第二个用于注释它.

我们添加了艺术品,剩下的就是其余的; 另一位开发人员认为从他未来的自己(ala The Office)发送电子邮件会很有趣,并表示在登录停止工作之前,它每天花费近两整天的电子邮件.

'    ROFL:ROFL:LOL:ROFL:ROFL
'        ______/|\____
'  L    /          [] \
' LOL===_      ROFL    \_
'  L     \_______________]
'            I      I
'        /---------------/

'TODO: REMOVE MY INFO AND REPLACE WITH USER CREDENTIALS
'Private TEST_LoginName As String = "DurgshA@Exmaple.org"
'Private TEST_Password As String = "Humsal892"
'Private TEST_Server As String = "imap.secureserver.net"

我最喜欢的部分并不是他做到了,或者他意外地将它留在了办理登机手续的位置 - 但当他回过头来时,他只是评论出来而不是删除它.如果我们从来不知道它在那里,我们永远不会看原始版本:-D

我看到这一个不少:

// TODO make this work

显而易见？

/** Logger */
private Logger logger = Logger.getLogger();

$you = live("free") or die("hard");

在多年前写一些Perl时,我在顶部和底部添加了这些注释:

# 

...

# 

下一个看它的人在Perl上并不那么热门,花了一段时间搜索文档,了解"魔法"和"伏都教"的作用.从那以后,我试图添加更多有用的评论......

# This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.

when :orientation
## Avoid matching gay people with straight people - they hate it, they do, they really do.
query_parameter = "(users.orientation = 'Bi' OR (users.orientation = 'Straight' AND users.gender IN ('#{user.opposite_genders.join('\',\'')}')) OR (users.orientation = 'Gay' AND users.gender IN ('#{user.same_genders.join('\',\'')}')))"

//The following 1056 lines of code in this next method 
//is a line by line port from VB.NET to C#.
//I ported this code but did not write the original code.
//It remains to me a mystery as to what
//the business logic is trying to accomplish here other than to serve as
//some sort of a compensation shell game invented by a den of thieves.
//Oh well, everyone wants this stuff to work the same as before.
//I guess the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

//        .==.        .==.          
//       //`^\\      //^`\\         
//      // ^ ^\(\__/)/^ ^^\\        
//     //^ ^^ ^/6  6\ ^^ ^ \\       
//    //^ ^^ ^/( .. )\^ ^ ^ \\      
//   // ^^ ^/\| v""v |/\^ ^ ^\\     
//  // ^^/\/ /  `~~`  \ \/\^ ^\\    
//  -----------------------------
/// HERE BE DRAGONS

//Visual Studio Bug Workaround:
//http://connect.microsoft.com/VisualStudio/feedback/ViewFeedback.aspx?FeedbackID=101677

//To fix 'CJumpToHelper::GetInstance()' : undeclared identifier compiler errors, change the number lines below
//until the file compiles correctly. (This needs to be done anytime a change is made to this file)

    //////////////////////////////////////: There should be 1-10 of these lines
    //////////////////////////////////////: There should be 1-10 of these lines
    //////////////////////////////////////: There should be 1-10 of these lines
    //////////////////////////////////////: There should be 1-10 of these lines
    //////////////////////////////////////: There should be 1-10 of these lines
    //////////////////////////////////////: There should be 1-10 of these lines
    //////////////////////////////////////: There should be 1-10 of these lines
    //////////////////////////////////////: There should be 1-10 of these lines
    //////////////////////////////////////: There should be 1-10 of these lines
    //////////////////////////////////////: There should be 1-10 of these lines

/// 

/// The possible outcomes of an update operation (save or delete)
/// 
public enum UpdateResult
{

    /// 

    /// Updated successfully
    /// 
    Success = 0,

    /// 

    /// Updated successfully
    /// 
    Failed = 1
}

//  If you delete the credits, I will fucking kill you.

//Woulda
if(x) {}
//Shoulda
else if(y) {}
//Coulda
else {}

...

// get the units from the form 
int numUnits = Integer.parseInt(request.getParameter("num_pieces")); // this break at random times

//price 
float price = Float.parseFloat(request.getParameter("price")); // same as above

// Under certain conditions the following code blows up. I don't know those conditions.
float pricePerUnit = price / (float)numUnits;

...

//If you're reading this, then my program is probably a success

/* NOT FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION */

'Is it worth it, let me work it'
'I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it'
'Ti esrever dna ti pilf, nwod gniht ym tup I'

NextIP = StrReverse(UserRecordset.Fields.Item(0))

//open lid


//take sh!t


//close lid

// Remove this if you wanna be fired

/***************************************************************************/
/*  deep wizardry. do not touch.                                           */
/*                                                                         */
/*  no seriously.  XXXXXX I'm looking at you. If you screw with this again */
/*  I will kill you with my swingline stapler.                             */
/*                                                                         */
/* ...                                                                     */

// (c) 2000 Applied Magic, Inc.
// Unauthorized use punishable by torture, mutilation, and vivisection.

public GetRandomNumber()
{
    // Chosen by a fairly rolen dice
    return 12;
}

"This code makes baby Jesus very sad!". 

String blankSpaces="                              "+ //100 whitespaces
                   "                              "+ //200 Whitespaces
                   ...
                   "                                        " //100 whitespaces

$this->getSelect()->where ('main_table.product_id = -1'); // Mom, Dad... sorry

raise InvalidChild() # e.g. no legs

Catch (Exception e) {
    //eat it
}

// This is crap code but it's 3 a.m. and I need to get this working.

/* This comment was just added in order to check-in a file that was last 
checked in by [Insert Programmer FirstName] "Back-to-the-Future" [Insert 
Programmer LastName]. While testing for year 2000 problems, he accidentally 
checked-in this file while his machine clock was set forward to the year 2000. 
This meant that the source code was always newer than the object file and 
compiled every time the code was built. I'm checking this file in again to 
fix that. */

// Jesus told me to skip to the end of the message here

//the XML returned from this request is *mind-bogglingly* bad. Terrifyingly bad.
//a completed batch looks like this:
//batchid=363777811 status=Done dateandtime=09/18/2007 09:53:10 PDT activateditems=335 numberofwarnings=0 itemsnotacivated=17 
//and an incomplete batch like:
//batchid=363778361 status=In Progress 
//so we'll just parse each item as a regex. Thanks Amazon.

//  Hey, your shoe's untied!

//  Keep looking!  I think it was the other shoe!

//  How strange -- I must be seeing things.  Anyhow, I'm going to go take a shower, now...

stepOff(); //bitch

// This should fix something that should never happen

# There is a bug in the next line.  $searchParameters != {} will always return true, because {} is creating
# a new hash reference on the fly, and the inequality operater is comparing the memory location of it
# to the memory location of $searchParameters, and they will always be different. 
# This means that the following code will always get executed as long as $nodes is defined.
# I'm leaving it there because it has always been there, and although I'm sure it was originally meant to
# mean %$searchParameters (essentially "is this hash not empty"), I'm afraid to change it.
if ( $nodes && $searchParameters != {} )
{

// some sport psychology
if (!focused)
    Focus();

// This is a walkaround for bug #7812

// For the sins I am about to commit, may James Gosling forgive me

TextBox2.Visible = True';
For Each row In data.Tables(0).Rows
    If row("Customers.Id").ToString <> customerId Then
        customerId = row("Customers.ID").ToString';
        name = "Customer Name: " & row("Name").ToString & CrLf';
        address = "Address: " & row("Address").ToString & CrLf & CrLf';
        TextBox2.Text += name & address ';s
    End If';
Next';

I don't understand how the following bit works, but it worked in the program I stole it from.

; Rechnen ja ; have faith in yes

/* Sun, you just can't beat me, you just can't.  Stop trying,
* give up.  I'm serious, I am going to kick the living shit
* out of you, game over, lights out.
*/

/* 2,191 lines of complete and utter shit coming up... */

#if 0 /* XXX No fucking way dude... */

/**
 * As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself
 * transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. He was lying on his hard,
 * as it were armour plated, back, and if he lifted his head a little he
 * could see his big, brown belly divided into stiff, arched segments, on
 * top of which the bed quilt could hardly keep in position and was about
 * to slide off completely. His numerous legs, which were pitifully thin
 * compared to the rest of his bulk, waved helplessly before his eyes.
 * "What has happened to me?", he thought. It was no dream....
 */
protected static String DEFAULT_TRANSLET_NAME = "GregorSamsa";

// A Gorgon class - For the love of Zeus don't look directly at it!

 /**
   * Returns cookies according to the filters specified.
   * 
   * @return array  Cookies!  Nom nom nom nom nom.
   */
 public function data_getCookies($uid, $name) {

#!/usr/bin/perl
# perl script disguised as a bash script

//todo: never to be implemented

//BELOW IS THE REAL CODE...JABRONI
        //
        // Yeah, but can you play the outtro to Bark At The Moon?
        //

        //|--------------------------------------------------|------------------------------------------------|
        //|--------------------------------------------------|------------------------------------------------|
        //|--17^16-16-16-17^16-17^16-16-16-17^16-17^16----16-|-19^16----16-19^16-19^16---16-19^16-19^16----17-|
        //|--------------------------------------------19----|-------17----------------17---------------17----|
        //|--------------------------------------------------|----------------------------------------------

Tweet tweet = (Tweet) tweets.get(i); // Poetic.

// Okay, let's do the loop, yeah come on baby let's do the loop
// and it goes like this ...

# Limit length of buffer to try to send, because some OSes are too
# stupid to do so themselves (ahem windows)
return self.socket.send(buffer(data, 0, self.SEND_LIMIT))

// If I from the future read this I'll back in time and kill myself. 

'Avert your eyes, it may take on other forms!

//The following code is commented out
//(a load of commented out code followed)

i++; // increment variable i

return null; //Not really null

// HERE

    // At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD format.
    // PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it such would be an
    // insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD is an abysmal format. Having
    // worked on this code for several weeks now, my hate for PSD has grown to a raging fire
    // that burns with the fierce passion of a million suns.
    // If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in different
    // places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would think of, and do those
    // too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for instance, did it suddenly decide
    // that *these* particular chunks should be aligned to four bytes, and that this alignement
    // should *not* be included in the size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned,
    // or aligned with the alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included.
    // Either one of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one. PSD,
    // of course, uses all three, and more.
    // Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the attic of
    // your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark attack on his 58th
    // birthday. That last detail may not be important for the purposes of the simile, but
    // at this point I am spending a lot of time imagining amusing fates for the people
    // responsible for this Rube Goldberg of a file format.
    // Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format. To do this,
    // I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have them consider sending
    // me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing them a copy of some document or
    // other, probably signed in blood. I can only imagine that they make this process so
    // difficult because they are intensely ashamed of having created this abomination. I
    // was naturally not gullible enough to go through with this procedure, but if I had done
    // so, I would have printed out every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire.
    // Were it within my power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch
    // them on a spaceship directly into the sun.
    //
    // PSD is not my favourite file format.

return 0; // Happy ending

int32_t Interpolate1DSignal(
  Array1D::Handle hfInputSamples,         // samples to be interpolated
  Array1D::Handle hfInterpolationFilter,  // polyphase filter coefficients,
  int32_t iFilterInterpolationFactor,              // # of "rows" in polyphase filter
  int32_t iFilterLength,                           // Length of each row in filter
  float64 fInterpolationFactor,                    // Factor to interpolate the
                                                   // signal by
  float64 fTimingOffset,                           // Offset into the signal (units   
                                                   // of samples)
  Array1D::Handle hfOutputSamples         // left as an exercise for the reader
);

// This code was written by a genius so don't try to understand it with
// your tiny little brain.

else
{
    // rien, c'est parfait.
}

/**
 * Happy Javadoc haiku:
 *
 * Without Javadoc
 * Builds break in Maven site stage
 * This fixes the build.
 */

//This was clearly written under duress

// Hard to explain

// Added because boss changed his mind : 20020111,20020501,20020820, ...
// Commented out because boss changed his mind : 20020201,20020614,20020908, ...

if (case1) { // trivial
...
}
else { // we are screwed
 /* fill in later */
}

' RIP LVB

/**---------START-----------**/

  //  IMPLEMENTATION GOES HERE

/**---------END-----------**/

// this error could never happen

'TODO: Matt Damon

// If you are reading this, please place a checkmark here [  ]

// BEGIN HACK
...
// END HACK: I feel dirty.

  rescue
    # silently, we fail
    # many validations fade
    # like tear drops in rain
  end

'Mind boggling, gibberish version of a SQL statement, but it work's, so dont touch it

# ===== Never edit below this line. Ever. Or I'll kick your ass. ====

// Abandon all hope you who needs to debug this

DON'T TOUCH THIS SCRIPT -> XSLT is like arcane, black magic

./arch/sparc/kernel/ptrace.c
/* Fuck me gently with a chainsaw... */

./drivers/scsi/qlogicpti.h
/* Am I fucking pedantic or what? */

Squashed some IPR mod bugs. The were big and juicy ones, too.

Squashed some more mod bugs. Those are some nasty bugs, them mod bugs...

Squashed some more mod bugs. They are like cockroaches: they'll live through a nuclear war.

Squashed some more John bugs. They too are like cockroaches: they appear anywhere John goes. Wait. That doesn't sound right.

Same John bug. It didn't die, just played 'possum.

/* You'll never believe all this is necessary to handle relocations
   for function calls.  Having to compute and pack the argument
   relocation bits is the real nightmare.

   If you're interested in how this works, just forget it.  You really
   do not want to know about this braindamage.  */

/* Don't ask about these magic sequences.  I took them straight
   from gas-1.36 which took them from the a.out man page.  */

/* Keep track of exactly where we are within a particular
   space.  This is necessary as the braindamaged HPUX
   loader will create holes between subspaces *and*
   subspace alignments are *NOT* preserved.  What a crock.  */

/* We will NOT put a fucking timestamp in the header here. Every
   time you put it back, I will come in and take it out again. ... */

/* Yes this is ugly (storing the broken_word pointer
   in the symbol slot).  Still, this whole chunk of
   code is ugly, and I don't feel like doing anything
   about it.  Think of it as stubbornness in action.  */

/*
 * Don't OOM me, bro!
 */

/*
 * Don't swap me, bro!
 */

// Yes...I know this is repulsive and stupid.
// But <%CompanyOwnerOrManagerToken%>, not knowing a thing about code,
// demanded I do it anyways. SO, go crap on their desk, not mine.
// K THX BYE 

/* FIXME This must absolutely be removed before 4.0.7 release
 * TODO really remove this */

// Cabbage fart?

/* Here I sit, Joe broken hearted, came to do some sh*t, but only just started. */

public function get state( /* of Palestine back */ ):Boolean

v.bpc     := v.pc;  -- Remember to jump back
v.baccu   := accu;  -- Yo dawg, heard you like runing instructions
                    -- so I took backup of your accu so you can run
                    -- instructions while you run instructions.
v.flags.i := false; -- No more interupts

// The world is a happy place.

/* Every time I re-visit this function, I feel like
 * I need to take a shower.
 *
 * Don't get too used to this function, its days are
 * numbered.
 */

// need a coffee to fix this.

// Singleton object. Leave $me alone.
private static $me;

int Q13Factor = 8125; // 2^13 for Q13 

THIS PROGRAM HAS CODE THAT DOES NOT MEET STANDARDS      

/**
 * ...as the moon sets over the early morning Merlin, Oregon
 * mountains, our intrepid adventurers type...
 */
public Test createTest(Class theClass, String name) {
    ...
}

// He's dead, Jim!

// TODO - Comment this function

Person p = new Person("John", "Doe", "male");
Collection women = new ArrayList();
women.insert(p.getTail());

'Do not optimize these next two lines. Compiler bugs lurk.

// fix for groupid > 9 
// if groupid ever gets to 100 everything will break (again)

if (groupid < 10) {
groupid = "0" + groupid;
}

// Hardcoded this for time sake ... will make andrew fix later :)

//Haleluya i can go home!

        /************************************************************
        *                                                           *
        *  .=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-.       *
        *   |                     ______                     |      *
        *   |                  .-"      "-.                  |      *
        *   |                 /            \                 |      *
        *   |     _          |              |          _     |      *
        *   |    ( \         |,  .-.  .-.  ,|         / )    |      *
        *   |     > "=._     | )(__/  \__)( |     _.=" <     |      *
        *   |    (_/"=._"=._ |/     /\     \| _.="_.="\_)    |      *
        *   |           "=._"(_     ^^     _)"_.="           |      *
        *   |               "=\__|IIIIII|__/="               |      *
        *   |              _.="| \IIIIII/ |"=._              |      *
        *   |    _     _.="_.="\          /"=._"=._     _    |      *
        *   |   ( \_.="_.="     `--------`     "=._"=._/ )   |      *
        *   |    > _.="                            "=._ <    |      *
        *   |   (_/                                    \_)   |      *
        *   |                                                |      *
        *   '-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-='      *
        *                                                           *
        *      LASCIATE OGNI SPERANZA, VOI CH'ENTRATE               *
        *************************************************************/

   // Some wanker in ISO got rid of ifstream(int), ofstream(int), and
   // fstream(int).  Twit.

/**
 * Not even your mum thinks you're special if you call this method
 */    
onlyYourMumThinksYoureSpecialIfYouCallThisMethod() {...}

/* You are not expected to understand this. */

// Fuck.

// This code worked before, but my cat decided to take a trip across my keyboard...

// TODO: Implement this function!

# absolutely foul heuristic code.
# ..it's dirty, but you want it.

# VERY USEFUL DEBUGGING AID, for when the above all goes pearshaped:

/* My lawyer told me not to reveal */

[ThereBeDragons]

//What is this?
public bool IsReusable
{
    get{return false;}
}

// These were orginally up and down. When it was clear the names were
// inapplicable, they were renamed to retain the joke.
// Sorry if you were hoping for useful variable names.
quantum strange, charm;

public int hashCode() {
//sucks, but what're you gonna do

/*
int hash = 7;
for (int i = 0; i < array.length; i++)
    hash = hash * 31 * (null == array[i] ? 0 : array[i].hashCode());
return hash;
*/

return 0;
}

// Notice: I feel so dirty doing this, but it's the only way to make it cross browser.

Every line of code you write that you feel gross about will ultimately come back to haunt you. Therefore, avoid writing code that makes you feel dirty.

// Bad Christian, No cookie

/// I intend to do this as shittily as possible because there are many better products that will totally blow this out of the water
/// and we don't have them so whatever

/// sidestep a bug in WCF (that we can't send types across)
/// or, depending on how you look at, this issue is a Feature

if( where == null)//be nice

// THE LOOP THAT DO EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

Without a crash 

Or mighty bang 

The sync disk 

Did it's process hang

catch (Domain.ConcurrencyException)
{
    // somebody changed it between the time we loaded it and now.
    // weird, huh?
}

// Choose! Choose the form of the Destructor!
// The choice is made! The Traveler has come!

// TODO: Drive an ashen stake through the foul heart of this function.

//#region Code for weird cases - do you really want to know?

' Commented out following code, don't delete for when [CustomerName] changes his mind

// This condition can't happen. Call the police or something.

var arbitraryNumber = 10;
//I don't know why. Just move on.

    // Constructs a tuple with 2 elements (fucking idiot, use std::pair instead!)
    template 
    inline tuple  make_tuple (const T0& t0,
            const T1& t1) {
            tuple  t;
            t.get<0>() = t0;
            t.get<1>() = t1;
            return t;
    }

// TODO: not this

/*

 ____________________
/                    \
| Jean-Michel Bechet |
| 2002-2009          |
\___  _______________/
    |/
 (o_
 //\
 V_/_


*/

// This part is more difficult

/**
 * This run through all the guipublisherbuyRecord , the records those have
 * diff. is buytotal and prior to buy isRecommendedBillingClickedWarning flag
 * is set if priously RB ran and this time not.
 * 
 * --What?
 * 
 * @return
 * @throws AppException
 */

//Dave chapelle reports errors.
function reporterror() {
  davechapelle.trace("FUCK!");
}

// TODO: Finish.

try
{               
    // Some database logic
}
catch (Exception $ex)
{
    // sure, it looks silly and I honestly cant remember what code used to go here... but i swear i will
    // find a use for this code.... eventually....
    throw $ex;
}

offset=1;
for (i=0;i<=len;i++)
    {
    if ((i!=0)&&(i//-3
        {
        switch(mess[i])
            {
            case ETX:
            case ETB:
            case DLE:
                buf[offset]=DLE;
                offset++;
                break;
            }
        }
    buf[offset]=mess[i];
    offset++;
    }

for (n=0;n//Modif A
    Sleep(T);//
    FWriteFile(hCom,buf+n,1,&dwMot,NULL);
    if (ECHO)
        FReadFile(hCom,tab,1,&dwMot,NULL);
}

if (GetFileSize(hSlotFile,NULL)==3600)   //5*720

/* Perkele ISO Puukko! */ -> Fucking Big Hack!

DvLog::Log("This silly log message fixes a PSCRIPT5.DLL gpf when printing to Adobe.");

 // WARNING!!!
 // Very perversive code ahead!

... about a 20 lines of "very perversive" code ...

// Now you can call your grandmother back. ;)

/*
* Dear Richard Stallman,
*
* This one's for you.
*
* Sincerely,
* Me
*
*/
MODULE_LICENSE( "GPL" );

i++; //increment i

// insert comment here

catch (Exception ex)
{ 
    // just die already.
}

// *** drunk -- fix later ***

// Since today's CPUs are really fast, this is dedicated to those who said:
// " You can't use Moore's Law as an excuse to write bad software. "

// IE7 update. this is still bad code, but IE8 is probably a long way off :)

# dont question, i just felt like throwing some globals in
# this is actually quite pointless as youll soon see

#draw the circles (complicated)...dont question

# complicated process of drawing the circles in a
# somewhat symmetrical, 3-d pattern
# dont question again

# will determine if user clicks on die
# i determined these values...dont worry about them

// this function doesn't actually calculated the profit, like it says --it really signals the mothership orbiting saturn that the planet is ripe for takeover

[later]

// I don't think anyone is going to read this

[various permutations on that last one]

-- Change Log:  Not needed. The code is perfect 'cause I wrote it.
-- If you change it, it will break.

// zzzzZZZZzzzz....

Case 1:
   ...
   break;
   ...
//I don't want do do this but [my coworker] says it's part of the code standard
default:
   break;

// The code below needs to be changed immediately.
// I wish I was a little bit taller
// I wish I was a baller
// I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her.

#region quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

[Fact]
public void TestPositive()
{
    Assert.Equal(4, 2 + 2);
}

[Fact]
public void TestNegative()
{
    Assert.Equal(5, 2 + 2);
}

#endregion

// I love the smell of dirty XML in the morning
xml = xml.Replace("xmlns=\"urn:bsd.orion/inventory\"", "");

# Don use this. Never!

#ifdef TRACE
#undef TRACE     /* All your trace are belong to us. */
#endif
#define TRACE ....

static void happy_meal_tcvr_write(struct happy_meal *hp,
                              void __iomem *tregs, int reg,
                              unsigned short value)
{
    int tries = TCVR_WRITE_TRIES;

    ASD(("happy_meal_tcvr_write: reg=0x%02x value=%04x\n", reg, value));

    /* Welcome to Sun Microsystems, can I take your order please? */
    if (!(hp->happy_flags & HFLAG_FENABLE)) {
            happy_meal_bb_write(hp, tregs, reg, value);
            return;
    }

    /* Would you like fries with that? */
    hme_write32(hp, tregs + TCVR_FRAME,
                (FRAME_WRITE | (hp->paddr << 23) |
                 ((reg & 0xff) << 18) | (value & 0xffff)));
    while (!(hme_read32(hp, tregs + TCVR_FRAME) & 0x10000) && --tries)
            udelay(20);

    /* Anything else? */
    if (!tries)
            printk(KERN_ERR "happy meal: Aieee, transceiver MIF write bolixed\n");

    /* Fifty-two cents is your change, have a nice day. */

public boolean getDirty (String MAC) // not as fun as it sounds

// TODO: what the hell is this all about?

// *** AAAAAHAHAHAH!!  What is this??

I'm not sure what I did

// This code sucks.

{
This is a gathering place for all unit tests.
Create a TUnitTestWrapper, then call "RunAllUnitTests".

This class will create an instance of each thing to be tested, and call each of
their unit tests.

It does not really do any testing on it's own; it just gives a common place from
which to call everyone else's tests.

This way, one day, we can automate our testing with each build. [Cue laughter]
}

struct core_unlocker
{
    core_unlocker(lock)
    {
        m_lock = lock
        unlock(lock)  //Abandon All Locks, Ye Who Enter Core!
    }
    ~core_unlocker()
    {
        lock(m_lock)
    }  
    private:
    Corelock m_lock;
}

/// 
I pity the "foo".

/// 
A "foo" and his money are soon parted.

#region Hack - Shield Eyes Before Expanding

/// 

/// A single uint with all of the bits set to represent the different tracing
/// 
/// 
/// Ugly I know, so if you can think of a better way, feel free to rewrite.
/// 
[Browsable(false)]
public uint TraceBitfield
{
    // Snip
}

#endregion

//Attempt Handshake: Hello? This is London calling. Are we reaching you?


//Handshake Failed: I don't understand...he just hung up.

/**
*@return the value 
*@param key: the id of the list of instruments
*@PS this function is a violation of all the laws of the 
*software engineering, 
*commons sense, highway code 
*and ONU decision about the coding.
That sh*t...
*/

/*
 * A virgin directory (no blushing please).
 */

$s=2; // chicken and bacon wrap for lunch

try {
   doSomething();
} catch(err) {
   // Die quietly
   alert(err);
}

        /*
         * OK; before you read the following code know what I am trying to do.
         * I needed to get the list of child catagories from the root node so that
         * the root node didn't appear in the selection box. But for some stupid
         * fucking reason the stupid fucking DBA wont let me access the items using
         * indicies and I instead have to use their stupid fucking Iterator
         * implementation. So there.
         */
        $firstList = $this->getRootNode()->getChildren();
        foreach ($firstList as $node)
        {
            $nodes = $node->getChildren();
            break;          // wtf?
        }

// nobody read comments!

/*
** The author disclaims copyright to this source code.  In place of
** a legal notice, here is a blessing:
**
**    May you do good and not evil.
**    May you find forgiveness for yourself and forgive others.
**    May you share freely, never taking more than you give.
*/

for (bo_thans = 0 ; bo_thans < MAX ; bo_thans++)
{
    if(rs == thing[bo_thans])
    {
       found = true;
    }
}

if(!found)
{
   /* Failed to find rs with bo_thans */
   ...
}

// i don't know how this works but it does so i'll leave it here anyway

/*
* TODO: Remove this function

function remove($customer_id)
    {
        $this->Customer->remove($id);
    }

*/

        Subclassing made Zope and TR
        much harder to work with by far.
            So before you inherit,
            be sure to declare it
        Adapter, not PyObject*

/**
 * As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself
 * transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. He was lying on his hard,
 * as it were armour plated, back, and if he lifted his head a little he
 * could see his big, brown belly divided into stiff, arched segments, on
 * top of which the bed quilt could hardly keep in position and was about
 * to slide off completely. His numerous legs, which were pitifully thin
 * compared to the rest of his bulk, waved helplessly before his eyes.
 * "What has happened to me?", he thought. It was no dream....
 */
protected static String DEFAULT_TRANSLET_NAME = "GregorSamsa";

catch
{     
    // you’re fucked
    // write out the file somewhere and start screaming “Connection down! Connection down!”
}

XRA A    ;MT

LDA 0

XRA A

""".........................:~+?7$$$ZZZZZZZ$$$7I+=:,............................
........................~+7ZZZZZOZZOOZOZZOZOZOOZZZZZ7?~:........................
......................,~7$ZZOOOOOZOZOZOZZOOZZOZOOOOOZ$$I,.......................
...................,=I$OOZOZOZZOOOZZOZOOOOZOZZZOOZZZOZZOZI=:....................
.................:?$ZZOOZZOZOZZOOOZZZOOZOZOZZZZZZZOZZOZOOOZ$I~..................
................IZOOOZOOOZZZOZZZZOZZOZOOOOZOZZZOOZZZZOOZOZZZOZ7=................
...............~ZZOZZOZOOZOOZOZOZZOZOZOZZZZZOZOZZOZOOZOZZOOOOZZ7................
.............:IZOOZOZZZZOZOZZOZOOZOZOZOZZOZOOZOOOOZOZZZZZOZOZZOOI~..............
...........,+$ZOOZZOZOZOZOZOZZOZOZOOZZOZZOZZOZOOOOZOZZOZZOOZOOOOO$?:............
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........+ZOOZZZZZOZOOZOOZZZZOZZOOOZZZOZOZOOZZOZOZZZOOO$?........................
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.......:ZOOZOZOZZOOZZOZOZOZOOOZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZOZOOZI:..........................
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.....................+ZO=,......:IOOOOOZ:.......=7$~............................
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..........:IZ7~......+ZO~.......:7OOOOO$,.......+$OOZ7=,.............:?$=.......
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......................:?Z?,...................:?OZOOZOOZOOOOOOOOOOZOZOZO=.......
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...........:??=:.......:OOOOOZZ7+=~~==+?$ZOOOOZOOOZOZOZOOZOZOZZOZZOZOZZO=.......
............::,.......,+OOZOOOOO$7777$$ZOOOOOZOZZZZOZOZZZOOZOZZOOOZOOZOO=.......
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........$$ZOOOOOOOOZOZOZZZZOZOZOOOZZZOZZZOZOOZOZZZZZZZZOOOZOOZZZOZOOZOOZ=.......
.......~OOZOOZZOOZZZZZZOOZOZOZOZZOOZOOZZZOZZOZOZZOZZZOZOOOOOZOZOZOOZOOOZ=.......
.......~OOZOOZZOZZOZOZZOZZOZOOZOZOOZOZOZZOZOOZOZZOZOZOZOZOOZOZOOOZOOZOZO=.......
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.......~OOZZOZOZZZOOZOOZOZOZOZZOZZZZOZZZZOZOZZOOOOZ$ZZZZZZOZZZOZZOZOZZZO=.......
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.......~OOZO$I:..~IZZZOZOZOZOZ$+...=7ZOOZOOZZOZZ=,..,=$ZZOZZZZZOZI~...,?=.......
.......~OOOZI:....:IZOOOZZOOO$+:....~7ZOZOZOZOZ$,....,=$OOZOOOZOI~.....:~.......
.......~OZI~........~IZZZOZ$?:........=IOOZZZ$+,.......,$ZOOOZZ7................
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.......,,...............=~...............~=:..............,~=...................
                                                               GlassGiant.com""" 
print "Hello World!"

//Time log says you've been here for 15 hours GO HOME, your code is hobo

// This is kind of almost useless

// We also add/subtract some points based on what's going on, on the bottom
// row. (I think this is retarded, but apparently when I coded this up 
// back in 1999 I didn't.)

// load image 1 - JPEG 240x320
img = f1.getImage();
if (check(img))
{
   load(img, Constants.JPEG_240x320);
}

// load image 2 - JPEG 128x128
img = f2.getImage();
if (check(img))
{
   load(img, Constants.JPEG_128x128);
}

...

// load image 13 - GIF 256x256
img = f13.getImage();
if (check(img))
{
   load(img, Constants.GIF256x256);
}

// loaded all of the f**king images

 # commented out
 ...
 ### end of the formerly uncommented #2001-02-22 John Doe

// woot, global var. I havent done this for a long time.